Stupid List

I wanted to quit dance class and never go back last night. I'm such an awkward dancer. Its very sad really. It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't staring into a mirror that covers the whole wall in front of me. Plus I agreed to this dance class thinking that I would be taking it with Lauren and Emma. Well, Lauren and Emma didn't show up last night. Its easier to have fun and laugh at yourself when its hard and awkward for someone else too...

But I can't quit. Its on the list. Stupid list.

I'm a little bit mad at the list right now. I made it thinking that it was going to change my life and make things more exciting and amazing. So far, I've started training for the 5k and am in a suspended state of soreness and exhaustion. I got roller blades and wrecked/almost died roller blading across campus.

I am pleasantly surprised and encouraged that I haven't missed one day of training since I started 3 weeks ago. In the beginning I really thought this was something I wouldn't be able to keep up with. Maybe its better to think that way. Then, every day that you don't quit is a battle that you've won. Thats how I look at it. Every time I finish a workout, I think to myself, "I successfully didn't quit....again!" Thats probably a bad way to look at it. But I works for me. Every time I workout, I basically defeat failure. At least failure can't fight back as long as I keep beating it.

In other news...

Nathan Hearn lights up my life. When I'm worried or scared or sad about anything in the world, all he has to do is hold my hand. He's a calm, cool, peaceful presence in my life. Sometimes he comes to run with me and the whole time we're running (and I'm dying) he's telling me how good it will feel to cross the finish line in May, and how very proud of me he is. I only hope that I could be such a strength for him, too.

G