I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong

When we were in high school together, my older brother, Daniel, used to say that your friendships have levels. 1s - Best Friends. Kindred spirits. Bosom buddies. Life-timers. 2s - Really really good friends, people that you love dearly but you wouldn't tell your deepest secrets. 3s - People that you know, and are nice and friendly with, but you wouldn't really hang out with outside of where you know them from. 4s - Aquaintences. Wave and smile - but do you know their first and last name? "I know we're friends on facebook, but..." This is awkward. 5s - Enemies. We all know what an enemy is.

You can't look at a friend and lable them as one number for a life-time. Relationships go through cycles. A friend that was once a 1 might now be a 3. Maybe in a couple of years they'll be a 1 again. I've been thinking about this lately. A lot of my relationships are in weird transitions. Some for the better, some not so much. I suppose this is ok, even expected. But knowing that doesn't make the process less painful. Mmm, I just have to keep reminding myself - it takes one to know one. Be a friend. Love people no matter what. Some times I wish that God would just let me in on his plan. In the meantime - everyone needs a little Switchfoot in their life, they just do.

This song pretty much sums it up for me right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wlePWP7QvM

The Beautiful Letdown - Switchfoot

It was a beautiful letdown

When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone
Unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubts
I was trying so hard to fit in
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong
I don't belong

It was a beautiful letdown
When You found me here
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free

We're still chasing our tails
In the rising sun
In our dark water planet still spinning
In a direction no one wins
No one's won.

See, I don't belong here (I don't belong)
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I will carry a cross
With a song where I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
No, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I'm gonna set side
And set sail
For the kingdom come, kingdom come
Your kingdom come
Won't you let me down, yeah
Let my foolish pride forever let me down

Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Would you please take me off your list
Easy living please c'mon and let me down

We are a beautiful letdown
Painfully uncool
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools
What a beautiful letdown
Are we salt in the wound
Hey, let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
It feels like I don't belong here, yeah
It goes like I don't belong here
I don't belong (I don't belong)
Won't you let me down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
You always let me down (I don't belong)
So glad that I'm let down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
'Cause I don't belong here
Won't you let me down.

G