Christmas is the time to say I love you

Very exciting! We'll be sending these out around the first of the year. (Props to Bethany Hearn, this was her idea, and a good one). I love Christmas so much this year. Such a fun time with my family and my soon to be family! Finished my Christmas shopping today - finally. I never want to shop again. I had such a hard time finding meaningful gifts. This year I decided that since I commited to getting so many people gifts, I wouldn't purchase gifts I didn't know they would love/use a lot. That is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Got it done finally. I'm going to start my Christmas shopping for next year like 6 months in advance because this was kind of ridiculous.

We joined First Christian Church of Owasso last Sunday. It was Christmas Sunday so both of our families were there to see us sing, and then join the church. We all went to lunch afterwards. I love our families together, its a lot of fun. Then the Hearn kids and me went to their house and did some Christmas baking. Really fun day.

Today Nathan, Jason, and I went to Branson. I had 3 more gifts to purchase. We went to Bass Pro in Springfield. That place is amazing. Really fun day. I love those guys.

We're getting married in 172 days!

Merry Christmas!

Random, r-r-random.

Thanksgiving break was pretty cool. I was a Black Friday shopper. 3:30 AM is disgusting.

I'm taking my last undergrad final on December 17, 2009.

I literally can not wait for Christmas. 25 days to go...

Kind of, I hate money, but I happen to need a lot of it. Especially these days.

Facebook causes a lot of problems in my life. Mainly, I can't get anything done.

I have two huge lesson plans to write, one of them partly done. One of them not started.

Can't decide if I should eat lunch at 3:27 (right now) or just wait until dinner time. I'm HUNGRY!

Need to go to the grocery store, and make $11 go a super long way. I'm sick of cup o' noodles.

I want to have a Christmas party at my apartment.

Tomorrow morning I get to try out my new goggles! Triathalon here I come.

I need to find some 5ks to run soon. Maybe 2 different ones over Christmas break.

And.....go.

THANKSGIVING BREAK!

SO glad its Thanksgiving break. One more day of work tomorrow and then I'm free until next Saturday! Holidays are a wonderful and somewhat complicated time when you have two sets of families to think about. Also, I have a very full life. It just gets a little overwhelming. I am determined to make the break as amazing as possible. Very glad its finally here. We haven't had a break since Labor Day weekend. Thats a long time. I will probably even get to sleep in...maybe even 2 days in a row! Ahhh!

I'm trying not to think about everything that is due once I get back to school. I have to write a ton of lesson plans, and teach them right after the break. Taking a lot of deap breaths lately.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be so much fun. I literally can hardly wait. Yay for holidays!

Plagues and Pestilence

I just took a test for that class. I'm not sure why I thought this would be a good idea, except that I thought it sounded pretty interesting and easy. Its interesting, but the professor only gives 3 tests for the whole semester. That means if you don't do well on those tests, there's no way you can get a good grade. Frustrating. The tests are hard, of course.

I'm positive that I have senioritis.

I'm pretty ready for this semester to be over. Excited about Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Very needed if you ask me, especially since we don't get fall break. At this point in the semester I feel like I all I want to do is get as far away from campus as possible. I'm trying to keep things in perspective though, also trying not to wish my last semester of classes completely away. I'm just excited about the year to come. Very exciting times.

I'm writing this blog post as the proud owner of a netbook mini. I got it last night. I pretty much love it. It fits in my purse. : ) Cutest thing ever.

Even though its raining today and everything is flooded and I had a huge worrisome test, and still more classes to go to, I guess I'll try to see the bright side of things. Mostly, I'm sitting here thinking, The Office is on tonight. And I'm writing this post in Oliphant Hall because my computer is now extremely portable. So its a good day.

These days are full.

Just today I decided that I'm alright with it not being summer anymore. It helps that I got my winter clothes from home. Having nothing warm to wear made me not ok with fall. Constantly being cold is one of the worst feelings ever.

Since I last blogged, I have successfully taught two lesson plans that I wrote all by myself. I have taught 3 actual classes. 2 first grade and 1 kindergarten - all general music. My professor came to observe me on Friday and said I was amazing. I can't believe I'm actually doing it! Very cool feeling. I just wish there wasn't so much anxiety building up to each time I teach a lesson. That is very stressful.

Nathan and I were talking yesterday about how our weekends are busier than our weeks, and how thats backwords. Really, we can't relax much during the week, and now on the weekends we are working pretty much the whole time. Then we sing on Sundays at church so that takes up half the day on Sunday, then Nathan works Sunday nights. I think we're both of the mindset that it's worth it, but that doesn't always make the day to day more bearable. Oh well, thats why we go to college - so that maybe we can get jobs that will give us the luxary of not having to live that way. : )

Nathan and I were going to Taco Bell last night and as we were leaving campus he looked over at me and said, "Grace, you're my dream girl, you know."

Mmmmm, life is good.

I've written and subsequently deleted about 3 posts within the last week or so. Once I write them they always seem dumb. SO here we go.

Its quite possible that I'll be running two 5ks in the next three weeks. I really need that kind of challenge right now. I am feeling so lazy lately. I'm not sure if its lazy as much as its tiredness. I start field experience for my music education next tuesday. Its pretty scary. Its nice that the education department tries to make things easy on us to a certain degree. There is this huge application you have to fill out to be approved for student teaching. Its 6 pages long. There is a whole lot you have to do on the application too. You have to make a resume, get copies of your transcript, and find a copy of your school of education acceptance letter, find your filed experience log from field experience 1(thats freshman year, folks), and a whole bunch of other stuff you have to fill out. We have until October 1. Next semester I student teach, then graduate! I'm also trying to plan a wedding in the middle of it all. This will be a busy year. Very exciting and rewarding though.

The 5k that I'm running on the 12th (Route 66 CPA Run) is going to be really exciting. Its actually at TU. The finish line is going to be on the football field. I'm so excited about it. The one the week after that, the 19th is the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure (breast cancer research). It starts at city plex towers. Should be fun, you get to wear pink! Mmm, I'm really excited about these races. They'll be my 4th and 5th. Very nice.

I need to finish some homework for tomorrow, then watch Seinfeld and King of Queens. What a lovely night.

Doing a lot better today than I was yesterday. I got out Physical Geology - just some advice: don't take a 3000 level science class with a lab if you're a music education major. So now, I'm taking Plagues and Pestilance. Its gonna be awesome. I went from taking 16 hours to 13 hours and that made it possible for me to take piano lessons still.

Also, (little back story) Nathan and I are doing a music ministry internship type thing at First Christian in Owasso. Rehearsals are Wednesday nights when Nathan usually plays softball. So we finally decided that we really wanted to do this music ministry thing, so softball is out for now. WELL, today we found out that softball has changed to Thursday nights so Nathan can still play.

Also, I THINK we've found a place for our wedding reception FINALLY. Nathan and I have an appointment to look at the McBirney Mansion next Tuesday. Its beautiful. I'm just hoping that everything works out and both dates are free because its amazing and a really great price. Everything is looking great so far though!

All of this, the classes and softball and the mansion are really and truly answers to our prayers. Its so cool so see what God will do when his people pray and then trust Him.

Something to add to the list:

4. Ride tandem bike with Nathan.

School is way more stressful than I remember. Maybe its because this is my last semester before student teaching. Probably. I'm on overload. I almost can't wait to go back to work this weekend. It'll be like a little mini-summer vacation all over again. Except without all of the fun and care-free things. Hmm.

I'm trying to start a new list. But so far I can only think of like 3 things I could put on it. Here they are.

1. Tulsa Run

2. Set a wedding date (We're thinking June 12, 2010)

3. Run 6 miles at once

The hard thing about it is, I have to be willing to really push myself to do these things. The last two lists that I've made pretty much summed up everything I've wanted to do my whole life, and I haven't even thought past those things. There have to be a lot more things I could do.

I need to take a couple deep breaths. I'm getting flustered.

Well, hi. I'm babysitting today. Easy day though. The 2 older girls are gone so I just have the younger 2. We went to Chik-fil-a for lunch. They loved that. Now they're taking naps. So I'm on here. The other day I typed up a really long post on here and just now realized that I never published it. Awesome. It had pictures and everything.

So, Nathan and I are getting married next summer! I went to Tulsa Wedding Show last Sunday with my mom and sisters and 2 friends who'll probably be bridesmaids. It was fun, but pretty overwhelming. Advice about planning a minimally stressful wedding would be appreciated. We'll probably get engaged sometime around Thanksgiving or Christmas. However, since we're planning on getting married in less than a year, we decided that there might be some things we need to start planning now.

Its an exciting time. But, the more I think about all the things I've always wanted my wedding to be, the more I realize that none of that really matters - I just want to be his wife. I want our wedding to be a tribute to all of the people that have loved us our whole lives. I want people to leave having experienced love for family and friends and love for Christ. Thats my perfect wedding. And that doesn't even have a price tag. When I think about that, I know it will be perfect.

I'm excited.

All you need is love.

Oh man. I feel too grown up today. I kind of like it though. I've spent the first part of the day planning my budget for when I go back to school. I actually enjoy knowing where all of my money will go. There's security in that. Mmm.

I got a new camera yesterday! Its amazing (the pictures above are some I took last night) Nikon - Thats the only kind of camera I've ever had and I wouldn't have it any other way. Such great pictures. I use my camera almost more than I use my phone. Wonderful.

I'm very excited about going back to school. I can't believe its my last year of college. Very sobering thought. I try not to dwell on it for too long. I feel so unprepaired a lot of the time, but slowly and surely I think God is making me more and more ready for a new kind of life. It will be totally different. Oh dear, thinking about it for too long....

I've been so unmotivated to run lately. Its horrible. I think that doing 2 5ks 2 weeks apart burnt me out a little bit. Not a very smart idea. For about a month there, I ran 3 miles almost every single day. These days, I run 3 miles, MAYBE twice a week. Fail. I need some moderation there. And I am pining for TU fitness center. I've never wanted to work out so badly. Running was so much easier on my body when all of my body was in shape. I can't wait to lift and do abs again. I just wish I had an amazing gym here at home. Oh well. In due time.

I love this summer so much. I have to pinch myself every now and then to make sure its real. I have a beautiful and blessed life. All the stressful things are so worth the blessings. Mmmmm.

Going for a run now.

Just some pictures from the firecracker 5k. It was really fun. My time was 32.54. Not my best, not my worst. I was pretty happy with it. In the second picture, I'm the one with the coral colored shorts and the white top.

So 4th of July was awesome. I always love it so much. Now its back to the daily grind. I don't mind it at all. This weekend is the Hearn trip to Branson! Its going to be so much fun! There are 18 of us going. Very excited about it.

I like working at QT alright. Mostly, I just always dread going until I'm there. The time goes by really fast because there's always something to do. And we get paid every week. Thats pretty convenient.

I'm getting really close to having my credit card paid off. Its very exciting.

Almost 4th of July!

This weekend I'm running in the Firecracker 5K! I'm pretty excited about that whole day. My favorite day of the year: 4th of July!

Also, I've been french braiding a lot. Its pretty fun. Mostly on the little girls I babysit on Wednesdays. They love it, and its good practice. Today I did 5 LC* braids (*LC = Lauren Conrad, from The Hills, braids that go from ear to ear like a headband). They were so cute. Also, I can do pretty much any kind on myself now too. Its pretty great.

Nathan and I are going to Big Splash Friday! I'm very excited. Its on the list. I've been wanting to go for so long. Should be fun.

I've been bringing my lunch to work so I don't eat all the nasty quiktrip food all the time. Its pretty gross after about....2 days. Haha. My body hated me after eating all that. So bringing my lunch is actually crucial to my health. I'm also trying to stay away from red meats for the time being. I've figured out that I feel better when I run when I'm not eating so much red meat. Probably good for me anyway.

I've got go to bed. 7:00 run in the morning!

G

I can FRENCH BRAID!!!

This was the item I was most scared of on my list for this summer. I really thought I'd never be able to do it. Well today, Bethany braided my hair...and I started thinking about how to go about doing it. Well, I went home and asked my sister if I could practice on her head...and what do you KNOW?!?! I totally did it! It wasn't very beautiful, but it was definitely two french braids. So then I got really optimistic and decided to try on myself. The braids on myself were better than the ones I did on Abby! You have no idea...this is a life-long dream of mine. I finally conquered it! I feel so amazing. I know this is probably really lame, but I am so excited! Making these lists really is changing my life. I could probably do pretty much anything I want if I give myself a deadline. Yeah!

I'm making pretty good progress on the list. I'm excited. I ran another 5k. That wasn't even on the list, but I'm a runner now, so, yeah. : )

I'm kind of stressing about paying off my credit card bill. I don't want to be broke all summer because of it. But it will be so awesome not to have to pay on that every month once I go back to school. That, and the At The Beach thing will go away this summer. Cuz I'm raking it in.

Going to fold laundry now. I really love my life.

"Excuse me ma'am, nice ass."

Yes, there are a lot of things going on right now. I got a job at Quik Trip and I have mixed feelings about it. I was told during training that since I specified that my availabilty is 6AM-3PM every day but Sunday and Wednesday, I would never have to work outside of those times. Well, I got placed at the store I'll work at all the time, and my store manager laughed at me when I told him what my availability was. I am very disapointed, because he told me I'll have to work AT LEAST one evening a week. That was something I specifically said I would not do when I have my interview. The guy that interviewed me said that would definitely not be a problem, "because no one wants to work mornings, so its perfect!" Apparently, not true, because now," All of our clerks prefer morning shifts and you're new, and I wouldn't want to make anyone mad..." I know I need to be more flexible, and that I am being idealistic. It'll be fine, I just want to express my frustration with my apparent misunderstanding....

I need to pay off my credit card bill, and I need to pay the remaining balance on my At The Beach contract so I don't have to pay 32.50 for 9 more months and continue to let them screw me out of money ever more money...

Saturday I am running in my second 5k - Runaway 5k 2009, benefiting Tulsa Youth Services. I am pretty stoked. Been training pretty steadily for it, and my times are getting faster. I feel so much better when I run a lot. I sleep better, I have more energy, I like myself more.

Yesterday I got a swimsuit for $10. That feels awesome.

Today at Quik Trip I was re-filling hot dog buns and a customer came up behind me and said, "Excuse me ma'am, nice ass."

Good times.

Ohhhhhh summer!

I just love it so so so much. Even though I have always loved it this much, I always forget how absolutely incredible it is until its actually here. Its my time. I am the most like myself in the summertime. Its agrees with me.

I got a job at Quik Trip! I think I'll like it. I go in for orientation class next tuesday, then I start training. They're pretty seriously amazing. Nathan is actually applying there too, hope he gets it. Its gonna be a sweet job. I need to find some cheap khaki shorts....

Today, I'm working at my dad's store. He's off doing some business for the day and I'm holding up the fort. It feels so amazing to go home at night and to just be able to go to sleep or hang out by the pool. So many nights when I'm at school, I seriously slept with my Music Theory or Conducting book by my bed because I went to sleep studying and woke up studying the next morning. Pretty brutal - but worth it. Its such a blessed relief to have rest for awhile.

The VOLCANO TACO IS BACK! Actually, there's a whole volcano menu now at Taco Bell. I realize that taco bell is horrible for you, but I love it. Last night Nathan came over and we went there and have a volcanoliscious feast. We brought it back to my house and ate out by the pool. I just love that so much. We were going to go swimming, but decided to watch Motocrossed (we both have a deap and enduring love for the disney chanel movies of our childhood) instead.

Tonight is B's graduation. So exciting! I can't wait to have her at TU with us!

Its going to be a great summer... : )

: (

Nathan's gone this week. First week of our summer. He went on a fishing trip, and I miss him terribly already. I know he'll have a lot of fun, and guys need to do things like that. So I'll be alright, just have to keep myself busy. He gave me one of his shirts to wear to bed this week. It smells like him. Its on my lap right now. This is pathetic, I know.

I NEED a job. I've applied at Quik Trip, Summit Physical Therapy, and South Point Chevrolet. I have discovered that while South Point would hire me, the hours are horrible - 5 PM to 9 PM Monday- Friday. That would leave me nothing to do all day, and then I would have to go to work when everyone else was getting home. Lame. So then I applied at QT. This is my most promising prospect at this point. I know a guy who manages the quik trip in Verdigris and he's putting a call in for me. Hope that works out. I talked to the owner of Summit yesterday at church and he said he might be able to find something for me at one of their branches...and to leave my # at the Claremore office sometime this week. So I went today and did that. I just hope I find a really good job.

I have a "job" for Wednesdays. So when I get an actual job, I'll have to have that day off. BECAUSE, I am going to babysit for Anita Wyatt every wednesday in the summer, and she pays $16 an hour. Gee whiz. I couldn't turn that down. Oh gosh, I hope this gets solved. I don't want to be peniless! And I need to pay off my credit card. And save save save....

I love summer. You wouldn't be able to tell from today's blog, but I really enjoy the whole no homework thing. Its niiiiiice. Today I woke up late, went running, took a shower, ate some lunch, and then did some errands. I printed off a bunch of pictures for the picture frames I've gotten lately. I love picture. I love taking them and displaying them. Then I went to my sisters choir concert, and came home to watch The Hills. Now THATS a good show. (My reasoning for thinking this is that I believe everyone needs to be a little shallow sometimes - The Hills is my shallow outlet)

Tomorrow is the twin's state semi-final soccer game. I'm sad Nathan is missing it. When I told him it was going to be while he's gone, he was very disappointed. So I'm gonna go, and I'm sure he'll be there in spirit.

Lastly, I hate At The Beach with a buring passion. I won't go into detail about how they've screwed me over this time... but I would just like to tell the whole world: DON'T EVER GO THERE - THEY ARE CON ARTISTS.

There, now I can sleep tonight.

Summer list

1. Go to Big Splash

2. Go to the Drive-in

3. Go camping

4. Eat at an outdoor cafe

5. Pick a wild flower bouquet

6. Pay off credit card bill

7. Play in a sprinkler

8. Visit 4 states

9. Read a lot of books

10. Take a nap in a hammock/porch swing

11. Rollerblade at the lake

12. Play tennis

13. Go to garage sales

14. Catch a fish

15. Learn how to french braid

16. Pay for someone's food in a drive-through

17. Eat some watermelon

18. Carve our names into a tree

19. See a shooting star

20. Take a picture of a pretty sunset

And.........GO!

5k completed!

Last night I ran my first 5k. I didn't walk one step and I finished in 33 minutes. I've never done that before, not even in training. I was so surprised and proud. Now, I just have a week to finish the rest of the list. Not really hard, but I'm a little unmotivated now since I finished the really big thing. I just have things to do like, going swimming, climb a tree, watch a sunrise (oh dear, that means getting up early...) So, I'm almost done. I'm already making a new list for the summer. I've very excited about this. I might just keep a list going constantly. Its good for me. Gives me a reason to experience new and exciting things, and re-visit things I've loved all my life.

Today, Emma and I went to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. It was pretty good, and extremely unrealistic which kind of killed it a little bit for us. But mostly, it was good and I had a sweet message. I would watch it again if it were on TV, maybe. We also did some shopping. I got some stuff for my mom for Mother's Day, and some stuff from Dollar Tree (I had no idea how absolutely incredible that store was - EVERYTHING really is only $1), and then we went to get some home decor (our very favorite thing). I told Emma that I'm going to go to the Havverhill Institute for Home Staging when I "grow up" and she didn't believe me, but I am. Besides teaching music, thats what I want to do most as a profession. Who says I can't do both?

Summer is ALMOST here.

So close, and so far...

Today I'm in Claremore working at my dad's store. My dad owns a store - Steve's Saturday Store. A wonderful little store downtown. Its pretty adorable. Stop in sometime if you're in town. Anyway, I'm working because my dad went to my sister's soccer tournament in Norman. And I love this day.

Nathan and I got together last night after we got off work. We watched the new episode of the office (I am amazed at Michael's business savvy in this episode, absolutely unprecidented, literally) and then we watched Vegas Vacation (which we rented for free with my blockbuster rewards coupon, that felt good). I had never see Vegas Vacation. My National Lampoon's knowledge was limited to the original and Christmas vacation. But this one was SO good! Loved it.

We also shared stories of how dissapointed we were in ourselves for eating absolutely terribly in the last 24-36 hours. We vowed not to eat fast food for at least a week, and to go to Subway for lunch today, which we both did, albeit seperately, because I had to go to Claremore and he was staying in Tulsa.

Tonight we get to go to the opera! I am so excited. We're going to se La lixer d'amore (The Elixer of Love). A quite famous opera, really. We're going to get dressed up and have an absolutely marvelous time. I literally can't wait.

Right now, sitting in my dad's store, making sure people don't steal anything and trying to get started on a report I have due Monday about "Manipulability in voting systems." I couldn't be less enthusiastic.

"For every 30 minutes of exercise you do, you add 2 years to your life expectancy." fact or crap?

So today I did the 2009 Tulsa Heart Walk. My mom and sisters did it with me. It was a lot of fun. All along the walk route there were these depressing signs about how many people in a year die from heart disease and stroke. There were at least 4 negative ones about how unhealthy Americans are and then there was one that said, "For every 30 minutes of exercise you do, you add 2 years to your life expectancy." Ok, this just can't be true. I would live to be like 200+ if that were true. That statistic doesn't even make sense because the ratio of time spent to work done is not always comparable. So basically that is ridiculous, but I'm sure that most people probably just read it and thought, "Oh cool, I'm gonna exercise more!" I hope I'm not becoming too cynical. Haha.

So the 5k is 2 weeks from yesterday. The heart walk I did today is exactly the route of the 5k (one of my selfish reasons for doing it) It was sort scary because there are some steep hills. I think I'm going to go run it a couple times this week, maybe with Rachael Getter (Nathan's future sister-in-law) Its nice to run with a buddy.

List Update (items in bold have not been completed)

1. Run a 5k 2. get rollerblades 3. fly a kite 4. go on a picnic 5. get a pet 6. visit my family each week 7. give honest compliments 8. Take a dance class 9. hot air balloon ride (probably not gonna happen) 10. Watch Denis the Menice 11. lose 10-15 lbs. 12. sew a piece of clothing and wear it in public 13. read Bible every day 14. go swimming 15. climb a tree 16. make a difference 17. watch a sunrise 18. record a song with Nathan 20. give selfless gift.

The stories attached to the things I've already done are magical and well-worth every minute. I have loved doing this list. I can't wait to run the 5k. If I can do that, I can finish the whole thing. And the semester's almost over. Summer is going to be absolutely incredible. Need to find a job.

There's just enough light at the end of the tunnel to keep me going. 20 days until summer.

To err is human, to forgive divine.

Just some fun pictures.

Hard week. I'm glad its over. But looking back on it, I got quite a lot done, so I'm proud of myself. I just got out of a quiz over 12 tone rows and matrixes (I think the plural form of that word is actually matrices, but I could be wrong). It was Hell. But the professor looked at it when I turned it in and told me that I got everything right, inculding the bonus question. I wanted to be like, "F yeah, I did!" Haha, but I didn't. Instead I asked him a question about our Anthology due Monday.

Its funny. I always keep a "to do" list on the marker board in my kitchen. Lately, each time I erase something, I replace it with something else. Pretty depressing, really. The list never gets smaller. My mom made a valid point though, at least its not getting bigger. The only way you can get underwhelmed (opposite of overwhelmed) is to get your stuff done. Then you feel good. I just wish I didn't have so much stuff. Upside to this is that I have been sleeping FABulously. And really, things are not as bad as they seem.

I'm really very blessed. I have my health, a wonderful family, the best man in the world, as many friends as I need, a good school, a nice place to live, clothes, food, faith...etc. What more does a person really need? I feel bad when I start to think that my life is bad. There are so many people who don't have enough...and I have an abundance. I am humbled by this.

This week wasn't as hard as I thought.

Lord, calm my anxious thoughts.

Lately I have been so worried about everything in my life. I find myself wishing so much for a simpler time. When I think of a simpler time I think of summer. But even summer is not so simple anymore. Nothing is.

I don't think anyone even reads this anymore. Maybe thats ok. I don't really write for anyone's benefit but my own. I enjoy writing down my thoughts. I think thats mostly what blogging is about anyway.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23

I am such a fool sometimes. I worry about my school work, my relationships, the future, money, running, and all kinds of other things. It really all comes down to whether or not I trust that God will take care of me. To be honest, sometimes I doubt that he really has my life in control. It definitely doesn't feel that way sometimes. I'm tired of all the fancy terms people use to define their version of The Gospel.

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be held. Like I need to tell someone all of my anxious thoughts, and have them care, and then know that no matter what I'll be taken care of. To know that I am under grace, and sweet mercy. And then to have rest.

I know there is a lot of fancy theology missing from that. But most of the time, thats the gospel I need. Just loving God, and loving eachother.

Lord let it be...

I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.

Man, this was an amazing week. I don't want to go back to classes. I want to not eat so much crap. Not because I feel like I need to lose weight. I would really like to feel better though. I would like to see results in my workout life. Thats not happening. I have lost about 8 lbs. at this point and thats disappointing because I know I haven't changed anything about how I eat, and I if I did I would see better results. I've been working out for a little over 2 months and I really should have lost about 20 lbs. Maybe a little less. I realize I'm also building muscle, but I also know that I eat like a trucker. Through the last 2 months I have consistently maintained that I refuse to give up or even limit my Mt. Dew intake. Consequently, I have increased my intake, partly to reward myself for doing well in my work outs. A viscous, viscous cycle, really. And its finally making me uncomfortable enough to change. Thats how most things go though. I got a really cool water bottle. I am going to try to make an effort to seriously suplement what I usually drink in Mt. Dew with water. I'm just gonna take it wherever I go. Drinking lots of water makes you have to pee all the time though. That is a horrible feeling, I think. I want to feel good though. I guess I'll just do it until it starts giving me results or makes me too uncomfortable. Funny how that works. This is just the next step. If I can discipline myself to work out all the time it won't be as hard to start eating better. The next thing I need to work on is time management/getting enough sleep. What I'm doing right now is a good example of managing my time poorly. Goodnight.

If I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.

I guess I just never knew it could be this good.

Today I:

Went fishing, flew a kite, ate at Buffett City, stepped on some Jello with my bare foot, layed out under the stars with my love, got a little too much sun......mmmmmm. The whole day made me feel like summer, and I am so passionately pining for it now it hurts. Only....6 more weeks?

Spring break is so much fun this year. And its only Tuesday. Tomorrow, I'm going home. Probably to run with my sister(s), and hang out with my family, and Nathan. I'm pretty excited about it.

THURSDAY! I am going on a road trip with Nathan. We're going to Bricktown to eat and see Slumdog Millionaire, and that night we're going to see Gaither Vocal Band in concert! My first time to see them live. I'm pretty excited.

Only bad thing about Spring Break is that it ends. I won't think about that now. I'll think about that tomorrow....or Sunday.

Spring Freaking Break

I knew this would happen eventually, but I think the idealist side of me thought that maybe it wouldn't. I'm sick, and I couldn't do my runs this week. Its also exactly the kind of sickness that would prevent someone from running. My asthma is going insane. But, I want to be able to say that I didn't ever not go running...

Well I guess I won't be able to say that, but instead of running 3 miles this week, I walked 5 each day. I just can't breathe very well, especially when my heart rate gets elevated. So, I had to make sure that didn't happen. Walking was a good sollution. This week I also lost 3 lbs. I've officially lost 10 lbs. now. Feels good. I'm actually starting to feel it. Now if I could just get over this awful sickness...its driving me crazy. I think I take health for granted.

I just took my Theory IV mid-term. I'm pretty sure I didn't fail, but thats about all I'm absolutely sure of. If its any consolation, I felt the same way about my Amortization test the other and I got an 95% on it. I just don't know how many times that can happen to a person....it seemed like really good luck at the time. I have no idea.

Anyway, now I'm on SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Nothing spells romantic like chic-fil-a..."

Yesterday was absolutely glorious. I had a huge test in Contemporary Mathematics. It was a soul-stealer. I did pretty well on it, though.

After my test and another class, Nathan and I got together for a picnic. It was like a wonderful dream. We just layed out on The U on a blanket, and ate chic-fil-a and sunflower seeds, drank lemonade, did a sudoku together. We just layed there loving eachother and soaking up the beautiful day. Having a picnic was on my list, and this picnic was even better than I imagined it would be. I was so sad when we had to go to Cappella. But it will be a great memory.

Last night my sister texted me and said, "I just saw a black midget!" Little back story....

We were watching Little People, Big World one day and started talking about how we're not sure if we've ever seen a black little person. Now, I'm sure they're out there but we were shocked that we'd never actually seen one. (I realize that this is distasteful on many, many levels. I apologize, but its hilarious.) I asked her where she saw this phenomenon, and she said, "Where else.....QT." She went on to say that he was actually "gangsta", too. Hahahahaha.

I've been really enjoying my life this week. I hope the weather stays semi-warm. Its just so very lovely. Makes me feel like there's hope for summer. I need that.

Mmmmm, weekend....

Lets talk about good things.

The world is corrupt. Lately I've been thinking that the world is just getting worse and worse, but then I realize, its always been this bad. I just haven't known about it. Ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is a burden. Sometimes its hard to stay positive.

Lets talk about good things. I think I'm really starting to see results with my workouts. I went so long without noticing ANY difference. Now, I actually feel like a smaller person. Actually a really weird feeling. But I am, by no means, complaining. I love it. I think at this point I've lost a total of 10 lbs. since the January 14th.

Oh yeah, my fish died. Poor thing. He was only about a month old, if that.

I'm at work right now. Folding 500 programs for Opera Scenes. What a laborious task. Should be done soon. I get to leave early today because Nathan and I are singing in recital class and I have to go get my dress and stuff. Very excited about it.

Alright, back to folding. Have a nice day.

"TU school of music, this is Grace, how may I help you?"

I'm working in the music office. A few minutes ago, the phone rang and as I went to pick it up, I hit myself in the eye so hard I had to will myself not to yell obscenities into the phone. I was so surprised at how composed my voice sounded as I said, "TU school of Music, this is Grace, how may I help you?"

This was a good week. Next Wednesday Nathan and I are singing, "La chi darem la mano," together in recital class. Also, we're thinking about doing a recital together next spring. That will be so much fun.

I don't want to graduate from college soon. The prospect of that is scary and weird. Maybe once I get a little closer, I'll be excited, but I want to be in college forever right now. A year from now, I'll be student teaching and staring down the barrel of graduation. The only consolation at this point is that once I graduate I'll be earning money instead of paying to go to school.

I have been honestly enjoying my runs lately. That is something I never thought I would say. Wednesday I ran inside on the treadmill, and I was surprised at how much I like that. Really, I think I just need a change constantly. First, I got tired of running on the inside track, then I got tired of running outside (plus it was too cold), so now I'm switching to inside on a treadmill. I'm sure this will change very soon. I'm just excited that I've stayed with it.

This might be a record for me. I don't mean to make it sound like running/working out is easy for me, or that I don't have to almost physically MAKE myself go some days. In fact, I was telling Emma the other day: Every time I go on a hard run I tell myself, "I'm a total moron, I'm not a runner, and I'm never going to do this again." But I still do it. I'm conquering myself, God is conquering me. And it feels good. I think thats what keeps me going. Beating whatever it is inside of me that says tells me I'll quit.

It takes a certain amount of bravery to set out to do something you really think you can't do. But its the best feeling in the world when you find out you actually can. Yes.

Me and Nathan recorded our song the day before my birthday. It took about 3 1/2 hours. I loved it.

Nathan bought me Dennis the Menace and watched it with me. Twice. Literally a dream come true. My other expecatations for life are generally higher than this, don't worry.

I got a fish and named him Samson. "Samson went back to bed, not much hair left on his head,"This fish has very minimal hair on his head...

I went back to dance class. I'm getting pretty good. Its a lot better when Emma and Lauren come.

I ran outside Monday. It was amazing. 3 miles. Getting there.

So far, I have lost zero pounds. After a month of training and eating like a bird I weigh....exactly the same. Pretty incredible if you ask me. Not in a good way.

Haven't rollerbladed since the day I rollerbladed across campus. I did wipe out on Nathan's rip stick though. So now, my left elbow is still raw from the time I fell on my rollerblades, and my right elbow is freshly skinned from falling off the rip stick. Super!

I want to take a road trip soon. Not that I don't love being here...(I hate when people constantly complain about where they are, always saying things like, "I've gotta get out of this town...") No, I love Tulsa. Very much. But I also love going new places and making memories. I need to do more of that soon.

Stupid List

I wanted to quit dance class and never go back last night. I'm such an awkward dancer. Its very sad really. It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't staring into a mirror that covers the whole wall in front of me. Plus I agreed to this dance class thinking that I would be taking it with Lauren and Emma. Well, Lauren and Emma didn't show up last night. Its easier to have fun and laugh at yourself when its hard and awkward for someone else too...

But I can't quit. Its on the list. Stupid list.

I'm a little bit mad at the list right now. I made it thinking that it was going to change my life and make things more exciting and amazing. So far, I've started training for the 5k and am in a suspended state of soreness and exhaustion. I got roller blades and wrecked/almost died roller blading across campus.

I am pleasantly surprised and encouraged that I haven't missed one day of training since I started 3 weeks ago. In the beginning I really thought this was something I wouldn't be able to keep up with. Maybe its better to think that way. Then, every day that you don't quit is a battle that you've won. Thats how I look at it. Every time I finish a workout, I think to myself, "I successfully didn't quit....again!" Thats probably a bad way to look at it. But I works for me. Every time I workout, I basically defeat failure. At least failure can't fight back as long as I keep beating it.

In other news...

Nathan Hearn lights up my life. When I'm worried or scared or sad about anything in the world, all he has to do is hold my hand. He's a calm, cool, peaceful presence in my life. Sometimes he comes to run with me and the whole time we're running (and I'm dying) he's telling me how good it will feel to cross the finish line in May, and how very proud of me he is. I only hope that I could be such a strength for him, too.

G

5k training...

Eye yi yi... I have been training for the 5k I am supposed to run. Staring down the barrel of an hour and a half workout gets daunting sometimes. After I'm done though, I know its worth all the pain (lots) and sweat (seriously....gross).

This is my routine:

20 minutes of nautilus cardio, intervals. Try to keep my heartrate around 170-175
Weights - 3 sets of 12 for arms (15lbs on each arm), Nathan's "Ultimate Abs" work out and some lower back strengthening.
2 miles running - 2 laps running, 1 lap walking for 16 laps. (Each week I add half a mile, and another lap of running in a row)

I do this workout Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and a less strenuous version on Sundays.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have Zumba dance class. Its latin dance. We also do some abs and really awesome stretching. Its fun, but pretty hard. I'm not a natural dancer...

Slowly but surely I am completing items off the list. I am having fun with it so far I guess. I've only really tackled the big stuff. I think Nathan and I decided what we're going to record. Its probably going to be "Whiskey Lullaby." Mmmmmm...

Goodnight.

#2. Get Rollerblades - completed

So the other day I got rollerblades. Nathan and I went to Target and I tried about 3 different pairs and then Nathan pushed me around the sports and outdoors department of the store. They are awesome. Then we went back to Nathan's house. He was doing something else, so I thought it would be a great time to test my rollerblades on Nathan's driveway. I put them on and got ready to go, and brought him out there to watch me. This is where it gets ugly.....

I only made it as far as the end of the porch when I realized I didn't exactly know how to navigate steps on rollerblades. So, doing what anyone would do...I jumped off the end of the porch. My feet flew up above my head I landed on my arm and butt. I didn't cry though.

Today I wore my rollerblades to travel across campus for the first time. Oh God. Rollerblading on brick sidewalks is SO much harder than I thought it would be. My calves are on fire.

In other news: I've started the training for the 5k (#1). So far I am really enjoying. No lie, my entire body is sore, but its getting easier each time I work out. Also, I signed up for a latin dance class yesterday and payed the money (#8). No turning back now. We'll see how this goes.

Grace

The next thing on my list...

To do before May 8th, 2009:

1. Run a 5k

2. Get roller blades

3. Fly a kite

4. Go on a picnic

5. Get a pet

6. Visit my family once a week

7. Give a compliment each day, and mean it

8. Take a dance class

9. Go on a road trip

10. Hot air balloon ride*

11. Watch Denis The Menice

12. Lose 10-15 lbs.

13. Sew a piece of clothing and wear it in public

14. Read my bible every day

15. Go swimming in a lake, river, and pond

16. Climb a tree

17. Make a difference in some one's life

18. Watch a sunrise

19. Record a song with Nathan

20. Give a selfless gift

Call it a resolution, call it a to do list. I've decided its time for me to stop letting my life happen without doing anything to make it great. Some of these things are things I've always wanted to do. Some are things I know I should do, but have neglected. And some are simply challenges to myself to make my life count for something more than existence.

In this blog I will document my progress in completing the items on this list. Who knows what amazing things will happen along this journey. We shall soon see...

*I recently googled hot air balloon rides, and while it has been a lifelong dream of mine, I do not currently, and will not in the forseable future have $200 dollars to spend at will. But I'll give it the old college try. We'll see what happens.

Grace

I wish I could be more original sometimes

I wish I could be more original sometimes. But every time I start to think that, I realize that my wanting to be original is actually wanting to be like some person I know. Thats not very original at all, is it?


The day is done, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.

I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain

Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of day.

Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.

For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endless toil and endeavor;
And to-night I long for rest.

Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;

Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.

Such songs have power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.

Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.

And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.